The Interrupters is a film that is truly eye opening to the war that is taking place on our own home front. Living in the state of Utah I think it is fair to say that we are rarely exposed to the kind of violence that the people of urban Chicago experience every day. While I was watching the film I was horrified by the conditions of the urban neighborhoods that young Chicago families were living in. The neighborhoods really did resemble war zones. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life not knowing if you were going to make it into your twenties let alone your thirties. I was really touched by the turn around of the individual members from cease fire, specifically Ameena Matthews. Ameena was very gifted at being able to talk with the youth and to teach them how to let go of hate and to embrace life. I specifically admired the effort that Ameena put into helping the troubled young girl Capreshia.
Ameena introduced Capreshia to special rituals that are typically reserved for a mother and daughter, such as taking her to the salon for a manicure and on another occasion a hair cut. Due to the fact that Capreshia didn't really have a mother that was present in her life or a father for that matter, Capreshia channeled her emotions through violence. I think this is why so many of the youth in the film were so violent, because they had situations in their lives that they couldn't control but by channeling their emotions through violence it gave them a sense of control that they were lacking. Ameena was always there to encourage Capreshia to be better and to learn how to work through her issues without resulting to violence. It was heart breaking towards the end of the film when Capreshia walked away from Ameena after Ameena had confronted her for lying about when the first day of school started. Ameena worked so hard to help Capreshia turn her life around, but in the end she recognized that Capreshia had to want it just as much as Ameena did, if anything was really going to change.
It was a really powerful moment for me when Ameena tearfully left one final encouraging message on Capreshia's phone and told the camera crew that she would no longer let Capreshia manipulate her. One of the great things about Ameena, is that she has been where these young kids have been before, and she knows exactly what they are doing. When Ameena confronted Capreshia she didn't hold back anything, she called Capreshia out on everything that she was doing, and wouldn't allow her to come up with any excuses for her behavior. I think the brutal honesty that Ameena uses allows her to reach the youth on a deeper level and inspire them to want to change. All of the Cease Fire members had incredible stories of change and redemption that on a certain level restored some of my faith in humanity. The members of Cease Fire are making a difference among the youth in their community. It isn't easy to stop a war but I think the members of Cease Fire are gradually convincing the youth to walk away from the battle one by one, and hopefully someday the violence will come to an end.
When I first listened to the song He Hit Me, all of my roommates were in our kitchen making dinner and I was sitting in our living room with the song playing loudly through my laptop speakers. After the first thirty seconds of the song had played all of my roommates came into the living room shocked at the lyrics they were hearing. My roommates and I all sat together listening to the song and before the song had ended we were all laughing in disbelief at how utterly ridiculous we found the songs message to be. I found this reassuring that all of us understood that the singers reasoning as to why the abuse in her relationship was justified is absolutely incorrect. Although my roommates and I all understand that abusive relationships are unacceptable, I know that there are others out there who haven't come to this realization, and sadly I know a few of these people personally.
As I researched the songs origins I found that Carole King, Gerry Goffin, and Phil Spector arranged the song finding the inspiration in their babysitter Little Eva. Little Eva is the stage name of Eva Narcissus Boyd a singer who performed several songs written by Carole King, Gerry Goffin, and Phil Spector. While still babysitting for King and Goffin, Little Eva had admitted to them that she was regularly beaten by her boyfriend. When King and Goffin inquired as to why she tolerated his behavior, she was insistent that her boyfriends actions were motivated by his love for her. King, Goffin, and Spector assured the public that the song was not written to stand behind the violent motivations of abusive relationships, but rather to document Little Eva's experiences. As I went back through and listened to the song again I focused on the music behind the lyrics and found that as the song progresses even the bells and percussion trill in a higher resolution when the singer declares that she is glad that her partner has hit her, and she proclaims that she loves him too. It is as if the music is building to that moment of realization in support and celebration of her decision.
As I listened to the covers of this song I got the impression that these covers were made in more of a satirical fashion. I don't think that the covers were to promote domestic violence but to draw attention to how unacceptable it is, to the point that is completely ridiculous that such a song should exist. When Courtney Love is preparing to sing her twisted version of the song, the first thing she says is "This next song is really sick." The singer immediately points out how dysfunctional the song is at the beginning and creates a much darker and contrasted composition of the song. It is not sung with the same happy trilling bells that can be heard in The Crystals original version. In Grizzly Bear's version I think you hear a lighter and more reflective method applied to the version. I feel that Grizzly Bear attempted this song with the hope of creating a more satirical aspect. I do not necessarily feel that either of those covers really achieve what I think they were hoping to achieve. I think those who are experiencing domestic violence in their own lives might listen to this song and find relativity rather than satire.
I also feel that there are still a lot of songs that are produced today that send messages of validation for domestic violence, maybe not as direct as He Hit Me, but subtle messages can definitely be found in some of todays most popular hits. An example that comes to mind would be the song I Love The Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna. The main chorus of the song says "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, thats alright because I like the way it hurts, just gonna stand there and hear me cry, thats alright because I love the way you lie." This is just one example that comes to mind but it is enough evidence to me that the mentality of enduring abuse in the name of love is still prevalent and insistent in today's society. I really hope that as society continues to progress and push education on this issue that young girls and women will realize that love is not about enduring pain to achieve love, but rather to let go of pain through love. I would much rather listen to a song about this very concept instead of a twisted masochistic ballad.
I absolutely loved coming up with a playlist for this weeks blog post! Thinking about all of the songs that influenced me throughout my girlhood brought back so many fond memories of me singing into a hairbrush, while dancing in front of my mirror, and imagining how great my life was going to be when I was a famous pop star. Obviously I didn't fulfill my younger aspirations of stardom but those songs still make me smile and occasionally compel me to reach for a microphone hairbrush. Music has always been a huge part of my life. I started singing when I was three years old and I have been singing ever since. Naturally as a singer, the first song that comes to mind when I think of my playlist is a song by Celine Dion. A lot of people make fun of Celine Dion for being so over the top but I LOVE her! I would sing my heart out to her album when I was a little girl, and even now I still belt her ballads while driving in my car, which often gets me a lot of strange looks from other drivers, but I don't care! The one song of Celine's that I sang more than all the rest was It's All Coming Back To Me Now. From the age of eight and on I have been singing this song! Obviously when I was eight I didn't understand the adult messages of this emotional love ballad, what drew me to this song was the sheer power of Celine's voice. When I sang this song attempting to mimic her range I felt powerful and I felt like each time I sang it my voice would get better and better. I also think that as a younger girl I felt a lot more mature listening to Celine's music, while my friends listened to Radio Disney. Looking like I was mature was a big thing for me as a younger girl, I always wanted to be thought of as an adult. My mother took me to Celine Dion's show in Las Vegas over a year ago, and when she came out onto the stage I started crying because she was such a huge part of my girlhood experience. You probably all think I am weird now, for liking Celine so much, but thats ok, I am not ashamed, Celine is awesome! :).
The second song on my playlist would have to be I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. I think it is very important to remember that I was a child of the 90's. The Backstreet Boys were huge when I was transitioning through girlhood. I remember going over to my friends houses for sleepovers and watching the Backstreet Boys concert video while all of us gushed about which band member was the hottest. I personally was an NSYNC girl, Justin Timberlake has always had my heart, but the hype of the Backstreet Boys was so huge it was inevitable that I would get sucked in a little bit. The song I Want It That Way was the one song that all of my friends and I would repeatedly play while swooning over the images of the brooding and sensitive Backstreet Boy members. I blame this song for my unrealistic ideas of what I thought love was like when I was younger. This song made me feel like love was supposed to be all consuming and very dramatic. My friends and I would listen to this song and imagine our crushes serenading us with love songs written about us. All of us were under the impression that true love had to be extremely passionate for it to really be true. I have certainly learned that love does not involve a hunky teen with frosted hair tips serenading you, but during my girlhood I really believed that love would someday come to me in that form. This song more than anything reminds me of all the fun that my friends and I had together, and how silly you can be when you are young and naive.
The third song on my playlist is also a direct result of being a 90's kid. Britney Spears Oop's I Did It Again, was one of my anthems as a young girl. Britney was huge during the prime of my girlhood, her CD Oop's I Did It Again was the very first CD that I owned. When I was younger, turning eight was a huge deal, because my parents wouldn't allow me to pierce my ears or have sleepovers until my eighth birthday. I am not sure why they picked the age of eight, but it was the standard for all of my sisters and I. For my eighth birthday party I had a huge sleepover at my house with fourteen other little eight year old girls, and the very first gift that I opened was a pair of earrings for my newly pierced ears, and Britney's CD. I guess you could say that Britney's song was sort of a validation for me that I was growing up and I wasn't a little girl anymore but in fact a young woman. I remember thinking even at a young age how this particular song was so great because Britney was this extremely beautiful and strong woman who was basically tricking this guy into thinking that she actually liked him, but she was really just playing a game. For some reason as a young girl I found this song very empowering. I was a weird kid. When I hear that song now I think of all the great times I had in my younger years and I also think about how foolish I was for looking to such a provocative pop singer as a role model.
Overall the music that influenced me during my girlhood was pretty awesome and I think that all of us have been shaped in some way from the songs that we identified with when we were young.
The issue of "Life With Archie" that I read was titled "Archie the Married Life," which compared two different scenarios of Archie marrying two different women, Veronica, and Betty. The story was a little difficult to follow considering that I am not an avid reader of "Life With Archie," but I was able to pick up on what I feel is the intended audience and the basic messages and themes of girlhood. "Life With Archie," is intended for a young audience, specifically young boys who enjoy comics. After exploring some of the other comic titles, I did come across a few that seemed to be more geared towards girls in particular. Those comics had pictures of heart throb celebs who would be featured as the main characters in the comic. I think the approach of Life WithArchie is to appeal to both boys and girls, but I find the stories tend to favor a male audience a bit more.
In the issue that I read, the comparison of the two different love interests were told in individual segments. The first segment featured the potential life of Archie marrying Veronica. Veronica is a very beautiful woman who is the head of her own company but was recently framed by another deceitful business owner and is facing trial. Veronica is supposedly self sufficient with owning her own company but during the preparations for her trial she hands over all of her problems to her daddy. Veronica is always saying "Daddy will take care of it," she is very devoted to her father and to Archie. In the comic Veronica is always seen affectionately speaking to her male counterparts and doting on them, she is portrayed as a fairly helpless character who relies on the men in her life to protect, and support her. In the scenario with Archie marrying Betty we see some different but similar themes of girlhood. Betty works at a local high school and is very dedicated to her work.
In the beginning of the comic we see Archie looking at a To-Do list that Betty has left for him on the fridge, and Archie complains that he is doing all of the housework and she has just left him a list on the fridge. The comic shows a scene of Betty tiresomely finishing up her work and accidentally knocking over a picture of her and Archie that shatters on the floor. This is sending a message that if a woman focuses too much on her career, her relationships will potentially crumble. As the comic goes on, Archie is seen watching a movie by himself while Betty is still at work, when Archie leaves the movie he runs into another woman who invites him to join her, Archie accepts because Betty is busy at work. The message of this scenario is that wives who devote their time to their work and not to their husbands will invariably start to lose the man in their life. This comic is suggesting that women can't have a career and a husband, you have to choose one. Both of these women that Archie is seen marrying appear to be hard working and independent women, but as the comics go on we see submissiveness portrayed by Veronica, and Betty is seen in a negative light for working too much and not giving Archie the attention that he needs. I feel that the stories in these comics are unrealistic and exaggerated portrayals of women, and of men. The Life With Archie comics appear to give women and men equal footing, but after reading the comic I see a lot of the same common gender stereotypes that are perpetuated throughout society today.
Watching 16 and Pregnant and Gloucester 18 brought back a lot of memories from when I was in high school and everyone in my high school was getting pregnant. During my senior year of high school two girls from my friend group became pregnant, and a total of twelve other girls in various grades also came out as pregnant. My mother works as a nurse for the OBGYN that took the majority of these girls on as patients. My mom would joke that their staff seriously considered putting their practices business card in the front office of our high school, because there were so many pregnancies. I couldn't believe how many girls were getting pregnant at sixteen and younger, I just didn't understand what was so difficult about using contraception. Now that I am a little bit older and more educated on this issue, I can see how some girls would fail to make contraception a top priority on their list.
Comparing Gloucester 18 and 16 and Pregnant I really didn't find a lot of differences in the teens stories, in fact I found a similar pattern with these different young mothers. Many of the girls that became pregnant came from single parent households or abusive and turbulent home lives. And many of the girls mothers had also been teen mothers. Those are some similar patterns that I found coming from their background, but I also noticed that once each teen had the baby most of them experienced the same problems. All of the girls that were documented in Gloucester 18 and in the 16 and Pregnant episode that I watched eventually became single mothers, and many of them had an additional child with the same previous father or with a new one. It seemed to me that with all of these girls, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. All of them experienced financial trouble, major discrepancies with their child's father or with family members, and struggled to obtain an education.
The one difference that I did find between Gloucester 18 and 16 and Pregnant was that the girls documented in Gloucester 18 looked at teen pregnancy as something that happens all the time. The girls didn't seem to be really phased by what had happened to them, they kind of had an "oh well" attitude about their situation. In the 16 and Pregnant episode that I watched, the girl that became pregnant was ostracized by her classmates and several of her family members, she was very affected by her situation. Teen pregnancy is a nation wide issue, but I think some areas of the country are affected more than others. I was shocked by the girl in the Gloucester 18 film that confessed to getting pregnant at just twelve years old, if girls are getting pregnant before they even reach their teens that to me is a crime that demands an immediate plan of action. I have a twelve year old sister and I cannot imagine her getting pregnant at her age. My sister is still a child that plays with barbies and watches Spongebob cartoons on saturday mornings, she is not capable of becoming a mother at her present age.
Teenage pregnancy has always bothered me because these young mothers are really only children themselves. In the Gloucester 18 film the young girl who sat in the park with her baby and her mother could not even speak for her self, her mother talked to her as you would talk to a shy child to get her to open up about her son. In every documented situation in both the film and the episode, the one thing I saw was irresponsibility. These kids struggle to survive and create a life for their child but it seems that they are always doomed from the start. You can't raise a child when you still require to be raised yourself. After watching the media content for this week I am convinced that abstinence only education is a crime against humanity. Sexual Education should be available to everyone for their safety and protection. If these young girls had been properly educated on the practices of safe sex I am certain that less of them would have become pregnant.
Growing up in Utah I believe I experienced a very different kind of sexual education experience than the rest of the country. I remember sitting in my health class when we covered the birds and the bee's topic and my health teacher refused to say the word sex, she would only call it intercourse. I always thought that it was a little ridiculous that my health teacher was too embarrassed to even say the word sex, so obviously I wasn't going to learn much from her. I was taught with the abstinence only sex education method, we touched briefly on condoms and contraception but only about how ineffective they could be and how we would ultimately contract a disease and die if we used them outside of marriage. I was stunned when I heard from my cousin who lives in Detroit that her health teacher actually had them practice putting condoms on a banana. Coming from my very pure and wholesome school district I couldn't imagine how that was allowed. Sexual education through school was a joke so I had to turn to others for information regarding sex. I first heard about sex from one of my close girlfriends that was a neighbor of mine who had recently had "the talk" with her mother. We we all about twelve years old and beginning to start the wonderful journey of puberty so all of the mothers on our street decided together that it was time to start introducing "the talk" to their daughters. I was one of the last girls on my street to have the "the talk" with my mother, and by that point I just nodded uncomfortably and pretended that this was the first time I was hearing about the process of sex. I was given a basic rundown of the physicality of sex, I never knew much beyond a boys parts mingled with a girls parts and sometimes if they mingled long enough you got a baby out of it. I never even knew what a condom looked like until my senior year of high school. Sex has always been kind of a taboo to me, and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I was raised in the LDS church, which has a big no no policy about premarital sex, and really doesn't even discuss the subject of sex beyond "it is a sacred act between a married man and woman for procreation and developing a close bond." Despite my wholesome background I have never shied away from the subject of sex. I have never really been embarrassed about it, because to me it is just a natural part of life that we should embrace and not make awkward. My mother is a nurse for a gynecologist so the female anatomy has never been a mystery to me. In fact I know a lot more about how female reproductive organs work than any person would ever want to know. My mother also felt that it was important the she allowed us into her bathroom when she was naked so that we wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed of our bodies. My mother says that is her reasoning behind always running around our house naked, but really I think she has just secretly always wanted to become a nudist. Nevertheless if I am lucky enough to have a daughter someday I want to have that same attitude regarding sex. I want my daughter to feel comfortable about her body, and comfortable enough to talk with me about sex. I wish that when I was younger I would have had access to a lot more information regarding sex beyond just parts mingling, and I really believe that change needs to start with sexual education. If I have a daughter she is going to hear it all, even the stuff that she might not want to hear. I just think if people were more informed about sex, it wouldn't be something that you would have to be ashamed of, instead it could be something that you accept as a natural part of life and eventually really enjoy as a part of a healthy relationship.
Growing up throughout my k-5 school years all the way through high school I was kind of an odd kid. I started out as a tomboy and mostly hung out with boys every day until about the fifth grade. In fifth grade I started to transition from tomboy to girly girl when I made my first real girl friends. Fifth grade was also the time that boys started to become a lot more attractive to me and a lot less gross. In the fifth grade I was a part of a trio of girls that ruled the playground. We would play "The ground is lava" on the playground every day and flirt with the other boys. It was sometimes difficult for me to hang with these girls because I was still very much a tom boy, and when the girls playfully flirted from a far, I actually wanted to play sports with all of the guys. Fifth grade was really the only time that I ever experienced what it was like to be "popular" and once I moved on to sixth grade the struggle between what other girls wanted me to be, and what I actually wanted to be resulted with me being an awkward outsider.
Sixth and Seventh grade were really tough years for me, they were what I like to call my ugly duckling years. I don't think anyone transitions through puberty gracefully and if they do they are probably a bitch, or at least thats what I tell myself to keep up my confidence. By eighth grade my ugly duckling phase had calmed down a little and I began to settle into my group. My group was made up of a bunch of talented misfits. We were all drama and choir nerds who didn't really fit anywhere, but luckily the drama and music department is probably the most accepting department that you could join. We became a sort of family and looked out for each other, which made high school a lot less painful for all of us. I can actually say that I had a lot more positive experiences than negative during my high school years. I was never on prom royalty, or went out with the most attractive guy in school, but I did have a group of friends that made me laugh and reminded me not to take life too seriously, and I honestly think that I got a way better deal. Having great friends made my life a lot easier. However I still ran into the occasional girl drama, due to the fact that my friends were all extremely involved in the drama department. The girls that would be considered frenemies usually caused problems over things like boys, the way that you looked at them, or how long you took to respond to their text message. I realized at a very young age that frenemies are not healthy and I made sure that those girls did not stick around in my life for long. Today I can proudly say that I have zero frenemies, I only associate with people who bring positivity into my life.
I think it is really difficult for girls today to find their group and to learn for themselves which friends will stand behind them and which ones would rather see them fall. I understand how fortunate I was in making the friends that I did, and how lucky I am that my "family" of friends has stayed connected through all of these years. As I watch my younger sisters go through the stages of girlhood that I have experienced I hope that they come to understand that even one really good friend is a hundred times better than a bunch of "frenemies." I think regardless of what group you fit into during your younger years, everyone was basically doing the same thing, just trying to find acceptance so life wouldn't feel so scary. I hope that more girls come to realize this and understand that being popular isn't everything, finding friends that love and accept you for who are is really what should matter most.
( These are my wonderful friends, I am the one on the far left sitting on my friends lap.)
